EMPLOYEE ASSIGNMENT MACHINE

The Intern Overlord assigns Level 1.

Enter your handle. Receive unpaid LVL1 employee credentials. Post your badge. Generated locally in your browser. No accounts, no wallets, no runtime AI. Greg has not been informed.

1. Enter handle

Anything: a Twitter handle, a nickname, a job title. We sanitize it locally and never send it anywhere.

2. Receive badge

Deterministic local generation. The Intern Overlord assigns role, department, and Greg-status from a frozen Mind Pack. Same handle → same badge today.

3. Post it

Download the PNG. Copy the caption. Post to X or Telegram. Tag another unpaid employee. Return tomorrow for reassignment.

Other desks

Same architecture, different artifact. All deterministic. All local. All free.

Three-domain doctrine

Each surface has a different job. Token facts only live at .io.

Anti-scam

How it works internally

Your handle is normalized and hashed locally (FNV-1a). The hash seeds a deterministic pick from frozen content banks (the Mind Pack mind-v6a). The card is rendered to a Canvas and exported as PNG. Nothing is sent to a server. Same handle on the same day produces the same card. Different days produce reassignment.